i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
