eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
