Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
