Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
