i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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