Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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