by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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