im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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