why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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