When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
