Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You can't special order awesome
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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