Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
