Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
