Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He passed out mid-signature
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
