he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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