R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
