should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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