i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
