Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
