he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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