Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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