so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
