addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
