i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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