Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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