Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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