so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
