Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
