i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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