this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
