If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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