You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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