you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just found puke in my bra..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
