I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
