you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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