If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
