Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
