yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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