ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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