I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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