If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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