1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
