We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
