ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
