he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
