I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
