then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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