We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
