i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Randomize
