North Korea, Best Korea!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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