is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
did i just pee glitter
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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